Autumn Prelude

The squirrels have started to gather in my yard this week … filling their little cheeks with the nuts that linger defenselessly under my trees. 

The geese have begun their pilgrimage back to places sunny and warm… I hear their determined cries as they bravely wing their way south.

My flowers are now “September flowers”. 

Do you know not what “September flowers” are? They are the flowers that were brilliant and young in June but now they are dismally weary and completely worn out. They are still “my” flowers – but they just look so bedraggled now.

The change of seasons is knocking at my door. 

Autumn awaits me while summer scurries silently away without even a polite wave good-bye.

Change … the only thing that never changes is that everything always changes.

Seasons come and seasons go … the years turn insistently to a new page. There is a bittersweet beckoning to the new, which in truth, has been seen many times before.

“Summer and winter and springtime and harvest;

Sun, moon and stars in their courses above;

Join with all nature in manifold witness –

To Thy great faithfulness mercy and love.”

How I have loved the long, spectacular days of summer! How I delight in sitting on my deck and watching the birds dash across my back yard singing and chattering for all of creation to hear!

There is nothing that a glass of iced tea, a back deck and a summer afternoon can’t cure!  Nothing at all!

But summer has bid a dreaded adieu once again to this girl who delights in the brief season of green grass, the buzzing of the bees and those brilliant fireflies sparkling in the evening’s closing chapter.

I must now prepare my winsome heart to welcome autumn.

“Earth’s crammed with heaven and every common bush afire with God.” – Browning

I actually have nothing against autumn – I just shudder when I consider that the months of September, October and November are singing the prelude for the frigid days of winter.

September, October and November have my complete attention as they prepare to play the glorious symphony that uniquely belongs to autumn.  This yearly triumvirate harmonizes in rich tones of glorious color, frosty mornings and pumpkins ripening on the vine.

“You have crowned the year with Your bounty,

And Your paths drip with fatness.

The pastures of the wilderness drip,

And the hills gird themselves with rejoicing.

The meadows are clothed with flocks

And the valleys are covered with grain;

They shout for joy, yes, they sing!” – Psalm 65:11 - 13

But I know what comes after the autumnal prelude … winter comes next.

The stark, cold days of winter always follow the splendor of harvest-time.  Always.

Summer whistles … autumn resounds … and winter is silent. Absolutely silent.

“While the earth remains,

Seedtime and harvest,

And cold and heat,

And summer and winter,

And day and night

Shall not cease.” – Genesis 8:22

Now … I believe that I shall divert from my autumnal ponderings to reach the point of this missive.

Believe me – I am going somewhere with this.  I really am.

How I have loved being a mom!  I have loved the days of holding and rocking … and the years of potty-training and two-year-old tempers!

I delighted in the season of sidewalk chalk drawings … basketball balls bouncing on the driveway … and long afternoons of reading books out loud.

During that season of my life, I couldn’t wait to get up in the morning to plan new adventures … to engage in new activities … and to make up new songs! I couldn’t wait to tell the daily story in which one of my children was the hero or heroine in a fantasy tale woven by their mom.

I found unmatched pleasure in the family games that we played … in the endless questions that they asked … and in the long walks that we took.

It was all just glory to me!

And then came their senior year in high school and I fell into an early melancholy. 

I could barely enjoy the memorable events that are unique to one’s last year in high school because I so dreaded what the following year would bring.

I couldn’t live in the present because the future was knocking loudly and unapologetically at the door of my heart.

I couldn’t relish in the defining moments of their last year at home because of the foreboding of what came next.

After crying my way through two entire senior years, I finally took the time to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit … the One Who never changes.

“And He will be the stability of your times,

A wealth of salvation, wisdom and knowledge;

The fear of the Lord is his treasure.” – Isaiah 33:6

When the Lord deposited that valuable verse into my heart, I changed my tune rapidly.  I regretfully realized that my children were never meant to be my stability – only the Lord could provide that.

And so I began to enjoy the season that was a prelude to the greatest change of my life. I loved each senior year that followed and was fully engaged emotionally and spiritually in every event, every memory and in each sweet finality.

Although I miss my children daily and deeply – there is joy in this new season of life that I have never before experienced. My children have become 5 of my dearest friends and each one sings a melody that is solely his or her own.

And may I just say … I love each melody that they contribute to my life.

So … autumn … bring it! 

I welcome you, harvest season, with my arms open wide and a heart that is completely yours! I will drink of your fruit and will dance in your beauty!

Life has taught me that even that which has been formerly dreaded brings a rare treasure all of its own.

I will rejoice in the golden days of autumn because He, indeed, is the stability of my times.

Thanks for listening to my heart this week. As you know by now, my heart is truly not a perfect heart but it is a heart that is filled to overflowing with gratitude for the life I have been given and for the people who walk with me. And, it continues to be a heart that is relentlessly chasing after God and all that He is!