My heart is filled with joy and hope although I will admit that my body is still a bit tired and battered.
My spirit is overflowing with gratitude and possesses a quiet peace that has come “in spite of” and not “because of”.
In the months since the cancer diagnosis … in the weeks since 3 surgeries … and in the days that I have been slowly healing … I have been more aware of the presence of Christ than ever before in my life.
I have been in an ambulance with God, the Great Physician, as my Chauffer. He has covered me with His great love and has taken me on the most breathtaking journey of my entire life.
The scenery that I have been allowed to observe while on this journey toward healing has been rich and rare. My view has been exquisite and I am in awe of His handiwork.
I know that the Holy Spirit, my constant Companion and dearest Friend, has been in the driver’s seat every single mile of this challenging route.
It has truly been one of the highest honors of my life to deliver the joy and hope of Christ to places where cancer has menacingly endeavored to torment people.
As the Holy Spirit and I have traveled over devastated wastelands of cancer and charred ruins of pain, I have been more aware of Who He is than of what the cancer has mockingly boasted.
I have experienced a powerful anointing while in doctor’s offices and when in surgical waiting areas.
I have walked through doors that only God could have opened and have had the honor of sharing my faith even while in medical testing rooms and in hospital corridors.
Fighting cancer has in no way limited my ministry but it has expanded it!
I have experienced the same power and awareness of His presence while wearing a hospital gown in a darkened room that I have experienced while wearing designer clothes on a stage or on a platform or on a television set.
I know that He has given me words to say and promises to pray when ministering to a nurse who was raw with the pain of divorce just as He did when I was teaching the Word of God to 1,000’s of hurting women.
I don’t believe that God’s perfect will for my life, or for any other life, is a cancer diagnosis but I do serve a magnificent and powerful God Who is well able to use everything for my highest good and for His greatest glory.
I don’t believe that God’s will is for His children to suffer … but when anyone of His dearly loved children meets the menacing enemy that causes suffering … He, the Lover of our souls, has promised never to leave us or forsake us.
What the devil meant for harm and destruction in my life … God the Glorious has used it for multiplication and for favor and for my ultimate good.
Cancer has changed me at my very core. I am no longer the same woman that I was on October 30, 2014.
I am stronger, not weaker.
I am more joyful, although depression has knocked at my door a time or two.
I am more aware of His love and kindness and feel safe and secure in His goodness.
I am not tormented by meaningless and answerless questions such as, “Why?!”
“Where are You, God?!” “Where is Your goodness?! Where is Your power?!”
Those questions are a mere waste of time and of strength. They are a distraction from the important stuff of life. (And, if I may gently remind you, those questions have already been answered by the Son of God upon an old rugged cross one stormy Friday afternoon.)
Perhaps the wiser questions to ask while in the battle zone are these:
“What can I do for you on the battlefield, Lord?” “Is there anyone who needs my help in this place?”
“Would you fill me with your power and with your joy?” “Lord … would you make me become just like You?!” “Lord … how can I honor You in this place of warfare?”
This is what I know to be true …
I am surrounded by a battalion of fighting angels who go before me and behind me.
I am not afraid of what the future holds because I know Who holds my future.
I am determined to turn every day that I have been given into a miracle of the rarest and most beautiful kind.
I am focused on loving those whom I have been given and I am praying for those who are straying.
I am filled with excitement and anticipation of all that lies ahead!
I also know that I am not the only one who is traveling a road of challenge, of warfare and of pain. For those fellow pain-inflicted, depression-fighting, battle-scarred warriors, may I pray for you today?
“Dear Jesus, we recognize You as the Giver of all that is good … of all that is righteous … of all that is healing. Thank You for Your dear presence as we walk through the wasteland of cancer … of pain … of divorce … of poverty … of disappointment … of depression. Thank You for the Holy Spirit, Who is a powerful healing force in the world today. Thank You that You have plans for welfare for your children and not for calamity. Thank You that by Your stripes we have all been healed. Thank You that it is Your will that we, your children, would walk in health and wholeness and healing. And thank You, Father God, that what the enemy meant for evil that You will use in your power for our highest good. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.”