Duggars, Proposals & Our Crazy Culture

Photo from the Facebook Page - Duggar Family Blog

Photo from the Facebook Page - Duggar Family Blog

All right … I am going to admit it. I am thoroughly enjoying watching the Duggar daughters and their courtships.

It is purity in its highest form … an innocent love that is astonishingly magnetic … and perhaps a glimpse at what God meant the dating years to look like.

Now … I know that some of the Duggar standards might seem extreme to some. Who other than the Duggars only give side hugs until the wedding day? Did your first kiss take place at the altar? Do you know anyone who restricted the holding of hands until after the engagement?

But in this world of the Kardashians, the disturbing sexual antics of Miley Cyrus and the fascination with “Sister Wives”, I’ll take the virtue of the Duggars any day.

How wonderful that a family has determined to live with conviction and principle in a world where anything … literally anything … goes! And … even more wonderful … they are living in this lovely and immaculate manner in the spotlight of the convoluted media!

“Your adornment must not be merely external – braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.” – I Peter 3: 3& 4

We live in a world where sex is glorified and where commitment is mocked. Our culture promotes the cheap thrill of sexual innuendo and scoffs at brides who actually deserve to wear white on their wedding day. But the world’s way has never been God’s way. I have a strong suspicion that the marriages of the Duggar girls will go the distance and defy statistics.

Did you know that only 5% of marriages make it to their Golden Anniversary? What has happened to “until death do us part”? Perhaps it got lost in a world of wife-swapping, bachelorettes and internet hook-ups.

The truth is this … our culture does not have the answer. We do. We have the answer and it is found in the principles and promises of the Bible.

“How can a young person keep their way pure? By keeping it according to Your Word.”  – Psalm 119:9

Those Duggar daughters have discovered the way to live a beautiful life and to build a healthy marriage. They honor their parents and their future husbands by holding fast to purity.

Photo from the Facebook Page - Duggar Family Blog

Photo from the Facebook Page - Duggar Family Blog

One of the obvious aspects of “19 Kids and Counting” that I especially treasure is the way that these young women respect their parents in word and in deed. 20-somethings often consider parental input as archaic and unnecessary. Young people generally feel that they know more than their antique parents and don’t need parental advisement, guidance and wisdom. I know I often felt that way when I was a young woman during the dating years. And … I couldn’t have been more wrong!

How I wish during those dating years that I had the perspective of Michelle Duggar! 

How I wish that I had allowed my parents to be involved in my dating choices!

“Honor your father and mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be long upon the earth and that it may go well with you on the land which the Lord your God gives you.” – Deuteronomy 5:16

Thank you, Jim-Bob and Michelle, for training your children in a Godly and wise way. Thank you for building a life upon principle and not upon the trends of the culture.

Thank you, Duggar daughters, for honoring your parents and the Lord. Thank you for being willing to live with conviction and for choosing purity.

My prayer is that parents and young adults will simply reconsider the way that we “do” dating. I don’t believe that dating should be like trying to find a new car when you go to one dealership and drive 2 or 3 options … then go to another dealership and drive some others. I don’t believe that dating should be a “game” or be done “just for fun”.

People’s feelings are important … a physical relationship should be reserved for marriage … flirting with the opposite sex is not the Godly way to find a spouse. After asking Jesus into one’s heart, who a person marries is the single most important decision of one’s life. 

If you are single, pray and ask God to bring a Godly man or woman into your life. 

And then, wait well. 

If you are a parent of a teen-ager or young adult, pray with them and gently give wisdom and guidance during this tenuous season of life. Stay lovingly connected with encouragement.

If you are the parent of younger children, begin to talk to them now, before they begin to date, about the principles and convictions that your family will embrace during the dating years.

God’s ways really are higher than our ways. God was the Author of romance and planned for a man and a woman to enjoy companionship, a physical relationship and the shared commitment to Godliness. It has been my experience that God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with Him.

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