I know it … sometimes you think of me as Pollyanna with a Bible or as Mary Poppins on a mission.
I know it … sometimes you think that my blogs are too sugary sweet and that my words drip with Holy Spirit honey.
Not today, my friend! Today I am coming at ya’ as Oscar the Grouch … as the Grinch personified … and as Scrooge! Today … I am going to give it to you from a different point of view!
Today … I am going to talk to you about 10 ways to guarantee that you will live a perfectly awful life!
“10 Ways to Guarantee That You Will Live a Perfectly Awful Life!”
1 – Spew your opinions, political views and disappointment with life over everybody all the time.
Make sure that your Facebook page is filled up with whining and complaining. Alienate the younger generation with your “I know more than you!” attitude. Verbal vomit is your middle name and you can’t wait to audibly barf over everyone in your unsuspecting pathway. Oh … and while you are at it … cloak it in Christianity. Frame your verbal drudge with your faith. Count your troubles … name them one by one!
2 – Be too busy to pray.
Involve yourself and your family in temporary activities that ensure that church attendance is not consistent, that devotions are sporadic and that prayer is ignored unless there is an emergency. Let me know how that works for you …
3 – Set some time aside every day just to worry.
Worry about the economy. Worry about the political climate of America. Worry about your family. Worry about your health. Worry about retirement. Worry before you go to bed. Make sure that you worry before you get out of bed. Worry in the shower and in the car. Worry out loud and worry privately. Live a life of full-blown worry!
4 – Belittle or ignore people who are supposed to be serving you.
Complain about your waitress to her manager. And don’t you dare leave that sorry waitress a big tip. Tell the person at the drive-thru window what a terrible job they have done of filling your order. Be curt with the single mom who checks you out in the grocery store line. Complain about the price of milk, the cleanliness of the store and how they never have what you need. Give it to her without taking a breath!
5 – Believe that the world revolves around you, your pain, your needs, your desires and your time schedule.
Everyone else should bow to you, consider you and revere you. You, after all, are the known center of the universe and everyone else should act as such! Be completely self-absorbed. No one matters but you.
6 – Always look out for Number 1!
Make sure that your rights are loudly heard and always met. Ignore what other people desire or need … after all … you have your own life to live. So live a life in which you know that you deserve every benefit, every blessing and every ounce of attention that others can give.
7 – Don’t ever exhibit any compassion to anyone … anytime … anyplace … anywhere.
After all, if you get involved with other people’s troubles, you may neglect your own. If you show one iota of mercy or understanding, the world is sure to walk all over you!
8 – Do not be faithful.
You can promise things but there is absolutely no good reason to actually follow through. Quit every job before it is completed. When you get bored with something to which you have made a commitment it is probably time to move on to the next big thing. If something is too difficult for you to finish – go and do something much easier. Overpromise and under-deliver is what I always say!
9 – Only be committed to things that are visible or tangible.
Things like reading your Bible, spending time in prayer or worship are irrelevant to the world in which we live. Instead, play computer games, be captivated by your cell phone, spend loads of time on social media, watch endless YouTube videos, Netflix should be your best friend and make it a practice of not talking to anyone when a sporting event is on TV.
10 – Don’t ever forgive anyone ever.
Allow bitterness to be a full-blown part of your life. Talk more than you listen. Let every person in your world know every single detail of what you think, feel and believe. When you are angry – let it show. When you are offended – make a big deal about it.
And now you know how to live the life of your worst nightmare!!
We have had some fun this week, haven’t we?
Have you seen yourself in any of the “10 Ways to Live a Perfectly Awful Life”?! I hope not … but if you did … perhaps it is time for a change. Perhaps you could be committed to a few different disciplines instead!
“10 Ways to Live the Life of Your Dreams!”
1 – Encourage one another day after day while it is still called today! – Hebrews 3:13
2 – Pray without ceasing! – I Thessalonians 5:17
3 – Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication let your requests be made known to God. – Philippians 4:6
4 – Know that you live in a Kingdom where serving others is the greatest thing that you can choose to do. – Mark 10:43
5 – Remind yourself that where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. – James 3:16
6 – The only way to live a life of fulfillment is to live by the motto that, “He must increase and I must decrease”! – John 3:30
7 – Put on a heart of compassion and keep it on! – Colossians 3:12
8 – Exhibit the fruit of the Holy Spirit, which is known as faithfulness! – Galatians 5:22
9 – Walk by faith and not by sight! – II Corinthians 5:7
10 – Never, never, never let the sun go down on your anger. – Ephesians 4:26
And that, my friend, is the life of your dreams and the life of God’s dreams for you! So choose that abundant and joyful life today!
Thanks for listening to my heart this week. As you know by now, my heart is truly not a perfect heart but it is a heart that is filled to overflowing with gratitude for the life I have been given and for the people who walk with me. And, it continues to be a heart that is relentlessly chasing after God and all that He is!